Dear Veggie Nut…
132 Ave A
Veg No, NE 23615
October 16, 2013
911 Potato Rd
HateLife, NE 15623
Dear Veggie Nut,
A spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down. A spoon full of veggies makes cats cry. I know you really love peas and carrots but I’m writing to tell you the benefits of a sugary, veggie-free diet.
The first reason why we kids should eat a high-sugar diet is because it makes our mouths happy. It simply doesn’t make sense to send beans down our throats when cupcakes taste so much better. My mouth rejects the repulsive taste of veggies but waters with joy in the presence of pie.
The second reason why we kids should NEVER eat veggies is because veggies are expensive. Mathematically, it doesn’t make logical sense to spend so much money on veggies when we could buy cheap sweets for less. In this economy money doesn’t grow on trees…but sugar sure does!
Some may argue that veggies are good for the body, among other absurdities, but I simply do not believe that fact. Food that is revolting cannot build strong bones. Sugar rushes build productivity and especially help kids sleep at night.
No question about it, veggies cannot be good for anything. A diet high in sugar tastes better and is an economically smarter choice.