The Downside of Being a Grammar Nazi
Friend: “Yesterday me and Kelley went to Wal-Mart and…”
Me: “It’s Kelley and I, actually.”
Ah, darn it! Once you’ve let yourself slip, people identify you as a the dreaded Grammar Nazi. Nope, it’s not Kelsey 
anymore. From that moment forward, it’s Kelsey the Grammar Girl.
Some people admit their title. Others, like me, slink back into the corner and devise elaborate plans to undo what has detrimentally been done.
The following is a short defense as to why I do not proudly own up to the Grammar Nazi title:
1. Perception
If I ever make a grammar correction, people remember. They seem to walk on eggshells when they speak in front of me because they don’t want me to correct them. Nobody forgets the time when you corrected them. Usually it is too difficult for people to move past that moment and perceive you like they had been doing.
After someone has identified me as a Grammar Nazi, they perceive me differently. No longer am I the cat-loving English major. Suddenly, I become that lady that will correct you if you speak “incorrectly.” It’s like I turn into that mean cafeteria lady and no matter how many delicious cookies I serve, people still run away screaming.
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2. Relationships
A few weeks ago I was playing the Game of Things with my friends. For those of you who’ve never played, each player has to write down a phrase on a slip of paper. The papers are read to the whole group by the reader.
When it was my turn to be the reader, I read a sentence with “your” in it. I made a huge joke about how the player had used the wrong “your,” thinking it was funny. When the round was over, the player exposed himself and refuted my joke by saying that he did indeed use the correct “your.”
And he was right.
I was embarrassed. He was embarrassed. It was a fun night.
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If I didn’t pretend to be a grammartician, a whole lot of embarrassment would have been avoided that night. Now whenever I see that friend, he always makes grammar comments and I feel like he’s never comfortable enough to speak freely around me.
The moral of the story is that I am not a grammar expert even though I’ve taken Grammar and Linguistics as an undergrad. Life revolves around relationships, good relationships…not grammar.
Lesson learned.
3. Identifier
When people identify me as that grammar girl, they pinpoint me incorrectly. In reality, I’m NOT obsessed with grammar. Although I enjoy using correct grammar, it is not the most important aspect of speaking, writing, or even of life.
While I appreciate the structure and standardization that grammar provides, grammar can hinder language and communication when we become obsessive about it. If I had to consciously think about all of the grammar rules when I wrote, I would NEVER write. It’s just too much.
Ideas are more important and should be the main focus in communication. I guess unless the ideas you’re communicating are about grammar…then I suppose grammar would be the main focus.
When I correct people’s grammar or make a silly grammar joke, people pinpoint me as a grammar-centered individual. But they identify me incorrectly in my moment of weakness.
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While grammar has its place in communication, I do not want to become an individual who obsesses over editing when revising needs so much more attention.
I love grammar; I really do. But when grammar takes precedence over everything else, I’m out.
It’s a love/hate relationship isn’t it? This is SO me sometimes. Yet, I try to break grammar rules when I can, just because I can. Sometimes style or voice is more important than grammar. And when people say, “Hey, you’re a writer. You can’t do that.” I just tell them, “I AM a writer, and I can make up anything I want. 🙂
Very true! Writers have so much freedom that many people don’t even realize. Once you’ve realized this you’re a true writer.
That’s the best answer by far! Thanks for cotrnibuting.
A very entertaining read! I’ve definitely done something like this before. Needless to say, my friend wasn’t very happy with me and I wasn’t happy with myself.
Isn’t that how it always goes? Your helpfulness backfires and no one leaves happy.
I remember the first time I pointed out a mistake. “Are you for real, Buresh!?” I just really don’t care, to be honest. However, I refuse to stand idly by when the forms of “there” and “your” are incorrectly used.
I find correcting trivial grammar mistakes futile when we can still clearly understand the message sent. “Because it’s proper” or “because it’s always been done this way” are not good enough reasons for me to be a Grammar Nazi.
I loved this post. I have seen first hand the effect that being perceived as a “grammar nazi” can have. Both my brother and my best friend in high school were perceived as such. When I have corrected someone I get the same two response, “Wow, did you really just do that?” and “Thanks Royce Jr.” I do agree with Christian though on “there” and “your.”
I hate how people treat me after I correct a grammar mistake…but I still don’t know about your and there.
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