Confessions of a First Year Teacher: I Cried & Laughed

Confessions

CC Image by Wikimedia

The stillness of the room

Is palpable.

Tick-tock. Ten

Minutes left.

600 seconds until

They arrive. Soon

Their voices, feet,

Backpacks will

Destroy the silence.

 

Tuesday, a horrible, horrible day.

The classroom – out of hand.

Lessons – don’t reach them all.

Meanness steeps the air.

Kids – tired, restless, and craving fresh air.

Reading does not soothe.

Luckily, I am there to feel the brunt of their fury.

Tears build.

Deep breath.

Tears disappear.

A few more classes;

a few more hours…

 

The day turns worse.

More angry kids fill the seats.

Is there a target on my forehead?

More grading, more feedback, more conferring, more behavior plans, more demand,

More Stress.

Tears build.

Deep breath.

The last bell

Has sounded.

The rotten day left a whirlwind mess.

Papers, notebooks, markers

Everywhere.

Finally time to drive

Home.

Finally time to leave this

Place.

 

At home

Tears build.

Tears fall.

Tears build.

They fall.

 

Wednesday, the next day, a day I don’t want to come.

Another day with the same kids.

Rotten kids.

Mean kids.

Don’t want to be here.

Want to be anywhere but here.

Right now the stillness

Of the room makes

Me want to leave.

Tick-tock. I know

They will arrive

Soon. Their voices, feet,

Backpacks shatter

The silence.

 

Wednesday brings calmness, the joy.

Lessons go well.

Concepts are learned.

Hesitation and resistance have moved

Away.

Laughter sounds.

Deep breath.

Smiles creep.

 

A day right after the last one couldn’t feel more

Different.

So better.

Only 24 hours separate, but no more tears.

Only happiness.

 

This post is the first installment of my Confessions of a First Year Teacher blog series. More confessions to come.

Poetry Friday is a weekly poetic blog meme.

This week’s link-up is hosted by Carol’s Corner.

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